Currently Their Eyes Were Watching God By Zora Neale Hurston see related

I was just

Over reacting. She didn't fuck up months of therapy. She didn't help with therapy. Only I can do that. It's not her fault and it's not mine...geeze being a baby much? Sorry for that lapse in sanity.

I'm gay. I like girls. I tried to tell my family and they say that I'm confused and that I'll get over it. This might be true, but I really don't feel it. I don't like guys. I've never had sexual satisfaction with a guy except my first guy and he was kinda girly anyway. I've never had a girl though. I need to experience this and I'm looking for a gf. It's SO hard to tell if someone's gay or not. I want to like ask girls out but i dont want to like piss them off if theyre straight. I don't like the bar scene. It creeps me out. idk. blech.

I want a girlfriend. I wish I could tell everyone that I'm gay and they'd accept it and love me, but they won't, even if they say they will. I came out to someone recently that I was bi and she acts weird around me now even though she said it didn't freak her out. Mehhhhhhhhhhh.

Idk if I'm bi or gay but the only guys I like now are fake guys. Example: The Joker. Gerard Way from MCR. *He's fake cuz hes a celeb and idk the real him, just the idea or w/e*

IDK! My therapist is helping me a lot...I see her tomorrow at 9am...blech so early but I LOVE TALKING TO HER! =)

I want a sexy, nice, smart, open-minded, sweet girl to care for and love and cuddle and snuggle! Where are you, my dream girl?!?!?! 

Why is it wrong to love a consenual adult human??? Who cares what gender? It doesn't HURT anyone!! The only rules of marraige should be that it be TWO CONSENTING ADULT HUMANS. PERIOD. Nothing else really matters. Unless they're like mentally inept to give consent like they're mentally handicaped or mentally ill. Wtf else matters?! (or related by blood, but that goes without saying, right?)

meh. sorry. anywho.... =)

Currently Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte see related

Guess I Should've Known

She was leading me on.

It's fucked up months of therapy. To finally open myself to someone I deem 'safe' and then they're not...ugh. It's not her fault. I should've known she was just playing with me. No one can really ever love me. I won't let them or they just...won't.

I'm just numb now. I wanted to cry but I forced myself not to. I was really pissed. Now I'm just numb. My shrinks and I have been working so hard to break down my wall I put around myself, and then when I put a door in it to open up to someone I think will love me back, it backfires. Now the wall has an electric fence with barbed wire. I can't trust anyone. They'll just hurt me. I thought she NEVER would. But she did. Very badly. It's not her fault. I should have known not to trust anyone.

Currently Pygmy By Chuck Palahniuk see related

Dream

For the past two nights, I've dreamed about my lady love. I dreamed that I was Harley and she was Ivy. Which is kinda like how it is in real life. I dreamed that we were making out and about to have sex, and we broke into this building together. It was amazing. Then I woke up. Sad. Because I know it's just a dream. And that's all it'll ever be. She kept talking about her bf last night, so I know she'll never leave him for me. She gave me another gift last night and a kiss. What is she doing? Does she think that just cuz we're both bi that we can kiss and stuff and just be friends? No. I love her. I want her all to my self! We'd be so perfect. We both love HQ and Bman and comics and fairy tales and I could go on and on.

Why does she act like she likes me when she won't be with me? It's really depressing me. I can never have the one I want. I'm such an idiot. I should know better than think someone can love a fuck up like me. Meh.

I can't tell her how I feel because I know she won't be with me. I'd rather still be her best friend than make everything all awkward. No use fucking up a friendship over a love that will never be.

Damnit.

Currently Relapse By Eminem see related

Labyrinth

I am fucking struggling. With my medications, my depression, my emotions. One day I feel great and I'm sure I have the answers but I never have the courage to see it though. I give up and do bad stuff again. It breaks down everything I've built.

Also, I'm in love.

She is the most amazing girl ever. Most amazing person ever. Every kiss leaves me wanting more and more and to always hold her forever. She makes me feel so good and happy. I've never felt this about anyone before. We hang out and snuggle and kiss and she gives me gifts. She's so romantic.

Problem: She has a boyfriend. She says she likes me and I know its obvious that I love her...I wouldn't ask her to leave her bf. But he lives far away. What is she doing kissing me and acting like we're dating if she has a bf? It hurts me because I want her all to my oddy knocky. I'm afrid to talk to her about it because I'm worried she'll be like "No I wasn't leading you on, that was just a friendly kiss" and stuff. I don't kiss my other friends on the lips and everything else. No one likes it that I am in love with a girl. So I can't talk about it to anyone. Idk what to do. I'm so lost. I just want her. I love her, I always have since I first saw her years ago. Oh she is all that I can think about. I'm so tormented and haunted. I told Sarah about this and shes just freaked out and thinks I'm gross for liking a girl. Ugh. I can never have what I want anyway. I should know that by now and give up. But she keeps giving some somthing more to hold on to everytime I decide to let it go. She gives me just enough to survive! I'm dying here!

I love her more than your mother loves you!  

Eugh. Work. I fucking hate Kohls.

Currently Choke By Sam Rockwell, Anjelica Huston, Kelly Macdonald, Kathryn Alexander, Teodorina Bello see related

free

Chuck Palahniuk has changed the way I think. He has changed my life! I've read all his books and I just love them! The just go forth and do attitude is so sublime. Choke, Survivor, Diary, Haunted, Rant, Lullaby, Snuff, and now Pygmy. He is so great!

Existentialism at its best.

I have weeded out the bad entities around me and have surrounded myself with good. I am seeing my shrink again on Thrus and then I'm gonna see a new therapist. My life is so great. I was spared such a horrible fate. It's funny now that i look back on it.

I could be in her shoes. I can't help but laugh and laugh and laugh!!!

I love Ezra Pound. Harley Quinn tattoo... $110.00.  SOON! Chuck's gonna do it at Walls of Wonder! WOO!

I am at peace. I now realize the only demons I'm fighting are inside my head.